Kellie Alexander's Blog

December 1, 2008

Filed under: forgiveness,Mental Health,relationships — kelliealexander @ 4:37 am
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I am a championship grudge holder. I guess it’s part of my personality. I have carried grudges from kindergarten into adulthood; no exaggeration. I’m good at it, I know how to do it, and I will be honest, there have been times when I have truly enjoyed nursing a grudge. But, let’s face it, it isn’t worth the price.

In every case where I have chosen to forgive, the freedom and the fellowship that I have enjoyed were far worth the supposed price of letting go. I don’t necessarily mean fellowship with the offender. Sometimes, that’s just a bad idea. But, the reality of it is like this. Suppose an unarmed man walks up on your porch one day, knocks on your door, and when you answer, he demands that you give him your wallet. Instead of doing just that, you also hand him the keys to your house and car and surrender all your possessions to him, then run out the door crying about becoming a victim of this guy. Read back. I said, “unarmed man”.

Unfortunately, too many dear people of the faith have been like this unarmed man. Let’s face it, Christianity is full of people. And, sadly, sometimes people can be real jerks. They may embarrass, intimidate, or otherwise make you extremely uncomfortable. They may even genuinely harm or wrong you in some way, but they don’t really have the right to take away your peace, joy, or happiness until you give it to them. Forgiving is like taking back the keys to your stuff. Here’s a bonus, they don’t even have to know about it!

I’m not saying I have this thing totally under wraps, I’m just saying it is an area of growth for me and I’ve had some golden opportunities to learn how in recent days. But, the neatest thing about it is, I’m not being asked to do anything that the Father hasn’t already shown me how to do in His dealings with me personally. “Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” (Colossians 3:13, NLT)

It can be done. It must be done. And, by the grace of God, I will.

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November 6, 2008

Charity begins at home?

Filed under: relationships — kelliealexander @ 11:29 am
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Very early in my adult life, I scored a really great secretarial position at a small software company in Cincinnati. The pay wasn’t a ton, but the benefits were great, it was a standard 9 to 5 with paid sick time and holidays, and it basically met my every need financially speaking. I was thrilled with the job! It didn’t come without its share of human foibles, however, like anything in life. As a secretary, I was required of course to answer telephone lines for several middle managers. I began to notice that I was extremely calm under pressure with someone who was less than pleasant to deal with over the phone. I mean, nothing really rattled my cage, and I faced a fare share of cage-rattlers on some of those phone calls! I began to take notice, also, that I did not respond at all in kind at home with my family. My mom and I would have regular arguments, and I would go from zero to irritated in no time flat. At one point, it occurred to me to ask myself why? Why was I willing to be polite to perfect strangers and not show the same courtesy to my family back at home?

The Bible says in James 3:10 “Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.”

I have pondered this same question even more as I have moved into married life and have been in the process of raising adolescent children. Don’t I want to be treated with courtesy? If so, then can I see how important it is to treat others the same way? What’s the worst thing that could happen if you started treating the little ones entrusted to your daily care with at least as much courtesy as you show the lady at the drive-thru at your favorite local fast food chain? The power to decide is yours.

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