Kellie Alexander's Blog

April 16, 2009

Some Things I’ve Learned This Past Year

Filed under: Uncategorized — kelliealexander @ 8:29 am

Well, today is my 39th birthday, and I just wouldn’t be me if I didn’t do SOME pontificating. So, here I will chronicle some of the important things I’ve learned in the last year of my life — which of course was generally a barn-burner!!!

One thing I’ve learned and this is really important and will shape my view of life forever more is this: when someone does or says something mean or spiteful toward me, it says something about THEM and really says nothing about ME. I think it’s funny that this has happened enough over a lifetime that I would come to see such a truth. Well, it wasn’t funny all the times it has happened, and I have had those “what on earth is WRONG with me?” moments many, many times; but, it’s starting to become a little bit funny — I mean really in the HA HA sense of the word. It’s so ridiculous that I really do laugh about it today! But, seriously, it is teaching me over and over that everything I need to know about me is written in God’s word, and everything else and anything contrary to that is simply a lie which I am learning to reject. This is good news!

I have begun to see that I really do have an enemy and that he really has tried to convince me all of my life that I am worthless, and I think there must be a really important reason why he has been doing this for as long as I can remember. And, I’ve started realizing that I am really called to something higher — like I’ve always suspected, and that to fulfill that calling will require that I disregard all forms of human approval (or disapproval) because if getting humans to like me is my goal, there is no possible way I will fulfill my calling. Tough to learn, but critical to moving into God’s calling for my life.

I am learning to appreciate “The Great Divine Thwarting” that John Eldredge talks about. How God will purposefully allow me to become discontented with the world and all of its systems for the express purpose of showing me who I really am and Who He really is, and how important my utter dependence upon Him has become. I mean, I’m sure it’s important for everyone, but for whatever reason, He is choosing to show me and for whatever reason, I am choosing to see it.

I am learning that — truly — everything in life is temporary. I am temporary. My kids are temporary. My relationships with people are temporary. Money and things and status are temporary. Marriage is temporary. Affection is temporary. “The best things in life” are temporary. Health and happiness and sadness and death — all are temporary. I guess I could basically paraphrase the book of Ecclesiastes. It’ll all end one day. The one thing that will never end is God. His word and His acceptance are really all that matter in the end. When I go to bed at night, I talk to God, because most of the time there is no one else, and all of the time there is no one better.

I know it seems strange, but I smile as I write all these things. I know from all my travels into the valley of the shadow that ultimately I will be with the Lord in all of His glory one day; and for that I am truly and eternally grateful. And, for that, I can endure anything that comes my way. I also smile in a sort of resolution that for all that I have already endured, things can get much harder and much scarier and much lonelier than they already have been, and I sincerely hope that I don’t have a lot more to face in the valley. But, regardless of what is in store, I know that I shall endure, even if my emotions would prefer not to some days.

Happy Birthday to me! Even if I do say so myself. ❤ :~)


1 Comment »

  1. When I go to bed at night, I talk to God, because most of the time there is no one else, and all of the time there is no one better.

    This is a great line–beautiful! Have a wonderful birthday!

    Comment by Debbie — April 16, 2009 @ 12:30 pm | Reply

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